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Radicals and Moderates Pt. 2

mp3 [3.66 MB] | Appears on Recording Artist

radicals want too much too fast
moderates don’t want anything
radicals worship history books
moderates worship their money
throw a Molotov cocktail at a picket fence
see what happens

radicals and radicals best stick together
moderates and moderates best stick together
if they don’t, so much for progress
so much for the status quo

I went to see a war documentary
I was the only civilian in the theater
everyone else was a recent veteran, all except for me
when it got to the part in the movie where it showed a river covered in oil, i heard a hundred cell phones ring
the veterans all drew pistols and started shooting at the screen
it was a war documentary
when the screen was blown to shreds, they started firing at each other
before long no one was left alive but me
I stayed and watched the rest of the documentary
or at least listened to it ’cause i was too frightened to open my eyes yet

moderates get their news from a wide range of sources
and they’ll be the first ones to tell you
radicals like reading Sun Tzu and posters for protests they go to
demonstration at City Hall
bring your own lawn chair

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Rain, Divisible by Itself and One

mp3 [10.41 MB] | Appears on Autumnal Jams

check 1 2 hey hey hey hey
check 1 2 hey hey hey

check 1 2 hey hey hey hey
check 1 2 hey hey hey

333333 6 714285 63 84615376470588235294117647058823529412
894736842105263157 82608695365217391304347
71 741935483870967 837 90243

5348837209302s 3255813

148361702127659574468085106383

921568627754430 zan ooh say gaw ee op

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Recording Artist

mp3 [4.26 MB] | Appears on Recording Artist

the words rock and roll used to be black slang for fucking
the words rock and roll used to be black slang for fucking
the words rock and roll used to be black slang for fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking is fun

beatniks in the 50s got their lingo from jazzers
beatniks in the 50s got their lingo from jazzers
hey man cool that’s cool do you dig
beatniks in the 50s got their lingo from jazzers
and like a million years later we still say cool

hey washed up rock star
why you tryin’ to be be so artistic?
try and fuck a Van Gogh or a stained glass window

canonize me
i belong in the canon, right?
blast my best work from an interstellar cannon
make an adjective out of my last name
-esque or -ian
teach a college class about me

rappers in the ’80s said "word to your mama"
rappers in the ’80s said "word to your mama"
everybody and their mom says it today
rappers in the ’80s said "word to your mama"
when you make a mistake say "oops, my bad"

the word jazz also used to be black slang for fucking
the word jazz also used to be black slang for fucking
it sounds like jizm but i might be wrong
the word jazz also used to be black slang for fucking
motherfucking jam session
motherfuck it till the break of dawn

hey recording artist
why you gotta be so artistic?
fuck a piano sonata or a one act play

stunning debut
sophomore slump
avant-garde clunker
return to form
tour de force
lackluster followup when you run out of ideas go country
and when that wears thin get in touch with your roots

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Rectangular Monk

mp3 [5.45 MB] | Appears on re-Itori Pleads the 18th Dimension

the Rectangular Monk is proficient in all styles of gung fu
he has yet to be defeated
many dream of fighting him but no one has ever seen the rectangular monk and lived to tell about it
he dwells in the Rectangular Temple where he eats rice from a rectangular bowl and relieves himself in a rectangular bucket 2.5 times a day
his favorite color is red like blood
red like blood

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Robot Love Part I

mp3 [3.28 MB] | Appears on The Great Communicator

my batteries were low [whoa whoa]
my internal clock was just a little slow [whoa whoa]
yo I’d need a bolt I’d love a screw
I’d give my arm just to be with you
’cause darling, we’re robots in love

I met her by the factory, yeah
they said she was the girl for me
they were wrong
when she cries it smells like lightning
when she’s gone it smells like gasoline

I wasn’t programmed to listen to your lies
all I see is my reflection when I look into your eyes
despite it all
despite it all
you’re the one for me

a lesser man would break down
but I’m made of steel and auto parts
and I don’t think I like you anymore
when she’s gone it smells like lightning
when she cries it smells like gasoline

I wasn’t brought here to fight or disagree
but that’s the way it goes sometimes
despite it all
it’s not my fault
I seem guilty
since I been with you

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Robot Love Part II (Estella)

mp3 [3.65 MB] | Appears on The Great Communicator

Estella, why do you tease me like you do?
I coulda loved you
but you wouldn’t have it any other way
it’s been three years since I seen your wicked face
it haunts me in my dreams
just like everything I see

I got a pretty girl back home who’d never leave my side
I’m human see and I’m aiming for you and I’m never gonna be satisfied
it’s a shame bad people never change

Estella, I’m miserable like you
gratify myself
ground up all my pills

hey my nightmares come and go
maybe I’ll be fine

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Robot Love Part III

mp3 [3.86 MB] | Appears on Live Inside an Active Volcano

here we are at the Robot 10-Year Reunion
1 0 1 0 in binary code
I never got to tell you how I feel
remember how we used to crawl through the air vents
and throw things at our classmates down below?
it seems so immature today in retrospect
distractions from the love I couldn’t show

what if we picked up where we left off?
what if not then for what if else
I amplify every slightest encounter
distorted by a faulty CPU
leaps of logic no automaton has any business taking
can I reconcile my wishful thinking with the truth?

here at the Robot 10-Year Reunion we make small talk and pretend to act surprised
but I know what you’ve done and with whom you’ve spent your time
I’ll just smile and play along

remember how we’d sneak off to the racetracks
and put money on the smallest horse to win
condescending looks on all the expert gamblers’ faces
then we’d spray the finish line with nitroglycerine

I capture every slightest encounter
filtered through a sepia-colored lens
if I had the choice my heart would not be breaking
and we’d be more than friends

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Robot Love Part IV

mp3 [7.70 MB] | Appears on Tedium of Life on a Space Colony

if I was a man I would kiss you like a man should do
if I were a woman I would kiss you like a woman should do
but I am a robot and not even remotely sentient
could you give a hint hint hint?
my condition is mint mint

if I was a boy I would kiss you like a boy should do
if I was a girl I would kiss you like a girl should do
but I’m just a set of instructions to perform functions
I am just a foot soldier carrying out my orders

Vinnie said I should wear black socks with white shoes
back when I thought I originated in a test tube
not proud to be a robot
my people clothes don’t fit
toying with a repair kit
writing my own obit

robot love will do me in
robot love makes my head spin

uncalibrated shattered shaken
elevator trap machinations
listening to the robot station
just for the sake of conversation

I print emotions on my readout
operator says I can’t count
kicked me in the knees, ouch
I am filled with doubt

if I was a man I would kiss you like a man should do
if I were a woman I would kiss you like a woman would do
unless you are an android this offer is null and void
cyborgs need not apply
spies deployed
don’t ask why

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Rock and Roll Mansion

mp3 [7.42 MB] | Appears on No Destination

I’m a stupid rock star that no one likes
get my kicks stealing motorbikes from little kids on the street
and I don’t give em back
’cause I gotta sell the bikes for ecstasy and crack
my favorite car needs a brand new clutch
my guitar goes out of tune way too much

another stupid rock song that doesn’t mean a thing
that’s okay ’cause I get paid by the number of words I sing
chemistry physics bio
Columbus, Ohio
March 15th and Cinco de Mayo
counting down the days before I die

[my life’s so tough]
there’s vomit in my pool
[my life’s so tough]
I bribed my way through school
my income tax is 60 percent
one of my cars has a five inch dent
my inspiration’s almost gone
but I’m holding
I’m holding on

I don’t give a damn about the FCC
so many lawyers yelling at me
they say why do you cuss
why do you swear
and I say I don’t know
well I guess I’m never gonna be ignored

spend my paychecks on heroin and booze
gotta do an ad for a pair of electrostatic shoes
you don’t know the pain of a public life
you don’t know the burden of a supermodel wife
I’m sittin in my mansion with a forty in my hand
that’s what it’s like to be the lead singer of a crappy mainstream band

[my life’s so tough]
my contacts barely fit
[my life’s so tough]
my manager just quit
the weather in LA is too hot to bear but I’m a rebel so I don’t care
my inspiration’s almost gone
but I’m hanging
I’m hanging on

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Routineagers

mp3 [1.73 MB] | Appears on Times New Reinfeld

routineagers
stuck in routines
working as lifeguards
stomping out bees
Mon Tues Wednes Fri
Mon Tues Wednes Fri
paper route paper route

cop loves world
hates words
parchment pavement punishment statement
hundred percent cotton candy
corn on the cob web site-seeing
digital digital déjà vu

undercover detectives hiding in trees
making their quotas
collecting their fees
Renaissance reconnaissance
Renaissance reconnaissance
alpha beta gamma bass boost bass boost delta gamma beta alpha check the schedge

Routineasaurus hatching up schemes
meteors, flash floods
who saw it coming?
Archaeopteryx taking calcium tabs with Stegasaurus Rex
Stegasaurus Rex making a scene
swinging his war club
spreading disease
routineagers in Juvenile Hall
confiscate skateboard handcuffs phone call

routineagers
stuck in routines
out Halloweening in new dungarees
crisp oxford shirts and algebra flashcards
-5 equals 4ac

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Rubber Tigers

mp3 [2.99 MB] | Appears on Poorest Almanac That Ever Lived

these rubber tigers
my old companions
they make me not forget the place I’m from
you can’t ignore them
but who would want to?
a warm reminder of remindables

when I was in college
last three semesters
I collected stuffed animals of me
my rubber sophomores
they kept me grounded
they kept me mindful of my long-term goals

I think postal workers should keep postage stamps of themselves
I think surgeons should keep lab results from when they were interns

I took a field trip to Ellis Island
I never left the gift shop
with rubber flashcards and rubber scrapbooks
I learned my family history like the back of my hand

I think circuit court judges should frame their juvenile records
I think the Government should give everyone free rubber tigers

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Run-In with the V.C.C.S.S.

mp3 [2.52 MB] | Appears on Bookbinding and Other Songs

we went to the shopping mall for caricatures
instead of the artist it was Jye Stids
the violent celebrity criminal sports star
with autographs and samples of leg of lamb
microwaveable leg of lamb
when I got to his table I put on my one-man show
for once in my life I got stage fright
"the terrace collapsed," said Montague
"shut up, Montague," said Montague
Jye Stids just wouldn’t applaud
as if my success were his undoing
I slapped his face and slapped sarcastic
then the chase began

Stids’s weapon of choice was permanent marker
mine was breakneck adrenaline speed
we raced through the mall
past playgrounds and fountains
pedestrian traffic at the DMV
under mechanical losers on stilts
as Haitian immigrants looked on disbelieving
I pushed air from my cheeks and moved side to side
had to settle the score
he finally got me
a stab in the eye
I fell into a coma

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